Some Plights of Modern Life

Today I went for a bike ride (don't worry, that's not the interesting part) and while I was out and about I saw a family at the little park in my neighborhood. As I rode past, I found myself thinking, "Jeezus, I have got to get out of here." It's not that I hate families doing family stuff, but I do hate that it was two in the afternoon on a Tuesday and I have nothing better to be doing than riding my bike through the neighborhood I grew up in. If I were fabulously wealthy after having struck gold in the creek near my California home and this were the 1800's and I no longer had the need or desire to work, then fine. That would be one thing. However, I'm just a modern day college graduate with no prospects and worse, zero ambition. Is getting a four year degree supposed to kill your dreams? Just wondering. I'm just gonna leave it there on this topic, lest I start an ill tempered diatribe about four year degrees meaning less than a high school diploma these days.

The whole goal of this post was going to be about "working out" or at least my idea of such shenanigans and then things spiraled in a new and exciting direction before I even noticed what was happening. Sorry bout that. Back to the point. Today I went for a bike ride because I've finally learned the valuable lesson behind drinking one too many vodka cranberries and then sleeping til noon for the better part of, oh I don't know, two-ish years. What is that lesson? Simply put, it's that your favorite pair of jeans will sit on a shelf laughing at you for thinking you could still get them on if you really try. I mean, let's be honest, I stopped drinking vodka cranberries for an entirely different, but equally important reason. There comes a point in every girls life when she has to realize that the potential for vomiting later on is not something that should be influencing her every day decisions. Still, I wonder when all this extra weight crept onto my belly? Was it during the Long Island phase? I would find that a reasonable explanation considering my memory of much of that phase is very fuzzy and that would have been when I began my love affair with chips and queso. Regardless, I've decided the weight has got to go and this is the summer where I actually stick to a work out plan.

I know what you're thinking, "Wow. Good for her. That's ambition! Maybe I should go to the gym? Or at least get some five pound weights." Well, don't burst with pride just yet. After my thirty minute bike ride, I wanted to keep the momentum going. So, naturally, I turned on some Fleetwood Mac. This was my first mistake. The second was putting on my pajamas and getting in my bed. Counter productive you say? Not me. This is how I psych myself up. I know other people would have maybe gone for a protein shake or thrown on some Flo Rida. Maybe even stretched? I don't know. What I do know is this; attempting to lose the weight I've put so much drinking into gaining is a major decision. So I turned to the only people I know who truly understand love and loss the same way I do. A few songs in and I was feeling comforted enough to write out a daily schedule for the rest of the summer. I turned on my laptop and remembered that a friend had just asked me about this blog. So.......now you're up to speed and here we are; drinking a soda, eating Doritos, laying in bed at 5pm and contemplating having a margarita. This losing weight business is a real bitch.

Stone