The Facts of Life, Part 1

I just arrived home from watching a riveting game of non-competitive softball. This experience led me to believe that there are many unspoken rules of life that people just do not respect. Rules that, when followed, make most people more likable and generally easier to be around. Luckily I'm here to put these rules into writing. This will be a series, likely continuing for a very long time due to the fact that common sense knowledge seems to be lost on the majority of people I meet on any given day.

Fact #1: If you wear a t-shirt with cut off sleeves, people will think you're a douchebag. And 99% of the time they will be right. There are, of course, exceptions to every rule. I don't necessarily think this applies to you if you are in a gym or if you are currently mowing a lawn. Any other time however, cut off sleeves are douchey. (If you watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia this should remind you of Mac and you should agree. If you don't watch it, you should!)

Fact #2: If I can see your ass cheeks, those shorts are too short. First and foremost, it is never that hot out! There is not one reason you need to be wearing shorts so short that your ass literally hangs out of them. Trend or no trend, it's unreasonable. And by unreasonable, I mean slutty.

Fact #3: Softball is boring. Especially non-competitive softball. When it comes down to it, I'd rather waste my time watching actual baseball. And I'm not just saying that because I'm a Yankee fan and we're generally elitist jerks. Baseball is exciting, it's fast paced, people get injured, it's a good time all around. Softball on the other hand is equivalent to cross-country running. People who do it claim that it's fun and rewarding, but no one is clambering to watch it happen.

That's all for now, stay tuned for more posts in this series.

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