What........The Fuck?

This afternoon I watched a movie. A movie I was really excited to see. It had a lot going for it; Eric Bana, sibling rivalry, Focus Features; all good things. I didn't think there was any way this could go badly. I couldn't have been more wrong. Disturbing is the only word that can really describe The Other Boleyn Girl. I knew things were going to be a little cray-cray from the outset as I have taken a history class before. The whole father-trades-daughters-to-king-as-sex-objects-in-exchange-for-social-status thing is difficult enough to get past, but then something even more alarming happened. I don't want to give everything away, but I will say it's more than a little upsetting when you go into a movie expecting a nice story of betrayal and torrid affairs and you end up with incest. Don't see it. It's not worth the trauma.

While typing the above paragraph I saw a preview for Justin Bieber: Never Say Never. This is a movie. In theatres. A MOVIE ABOUT JUSTIN BIEBER'S LIFE......thus far. I am feeling upset right now. How is there a movie about him!? I'll be honest, I'm mostly just upset because I'm realizing my best opportunity to see my favorite singer in a movie came via Glitter. If Justin Bieber gets a movie, Mariah should mos def have a movie, IJS. What ever happened to the days when people actually had to have a career for someone to make a movie about? Nowadays it seems like these children come along, sell out some stadiums, do some scandalous tweeting and BAM! 3D movie. Let's be real, I'm probs gonna see it and when I do, I will rant about it again. So look forward to that disaster.

While we're discussing horrifying things I just saw on the tele, let's talk about this mentos commercial. Basically this is my worst nightmare come to life. Anyone who knows me IRL knows about my intense, albeit slightly irrational, fear of spiders. Now let's get to the bones of my issue with this. Why is there a spider in a mentos commercial? Is that necessary? Spiders aren't funny. Unless you think insects crawling all over your face in the night is funny, then they are hilarious! I just wish I'd never seen this. It's all I'm going to be able to think about for days.

And now, I'd like to share with you a ridiculous conversation I had with Rock earlier today:

Rock: My kidney's hurt

Stone: Hmm, that's never a good thing. Have you had anything to drink other than Dr. Pepper recently?

R: Tea and water.

S: Well, that's good. Maybe they're just rebelling against the cold and punishing you.

R: :'(

S: Just keep drinking fluids I suppose.

R: I think I mostly just have to pee really bad.

S: Why don't you? You sound like me right now.

R: I probably should.

(An eight minute break)

S: Did you go yet?

R: Yes!

S: Good. What's the verdict? Did it help?

R: Yep. So I bought some Dr. Pepper to celebrate.

S: Always a good call.

R: Agreed.

The moral of this story? Dr. Pepper is the cat's pajamas. And we lead very dull lives.

Fist Pump!
Stone