1. Never be a Japanese tourist. Reason: You cannot get on an elevator while there's no room for you. You have to let me off first. That's why I didn't apologize when you got my backpack in your stomach.
2. Greece is very hot. Never go the the Acropolis of Athens in black capris.
3. Cruise ships are fun, but keep track of the money you spend so you're not surprised when your bill is 500 euro at the end unlike a certain dark haired boy in my group cough Adam cough.
4. Istanbul is funner when you're better at confrontation. If you don't know how to say no to street venders, skip Turkey completely until you do.
5. Santorini is lovely. But Mykonos is the most beautiful place on the planet.
6. Make sure the scarves are real pashmina.
7. Go to Kusadasi and see Ephisus. If it's all you do in your life, it will be enough.
8. Trips are made funnier when sex jokes are heavily involved. I.E. That's what she said, refering to the groups as first string bitches and third string bitches, discussing the international buffet of women that Greek men enjoy so much, and of course, I'm a vagina, suck my dick.
9. Don't think about Kristen Stewart while you're there. It will ruin your whole day.
10. SPF 70 four times a day is not enough in the Mediterranean.
And of course, make sure you have the funniest and best tour guide in the world. Julie, I miss you already.
Now seeing as I just got in and I haven't slept in thirty hours, and I need to get up and see HP6 in the morning, I bid you all adeu. Heed well these secrets to good travelling.
No comments:
Post a Comment