Death, reiteration, and breakfast restaurants.

I would like to start by acknowledging another tragic death: Billy Mays. You all know who he is. The Oxi-Clean guy is probably his most well known infomercial. Some people may have found him a little overbearing in that he yells at you while he's pitching his product, but not me. No I always appreciated the enthusiasm. It almost made me want to pick up the phone and waste my money on something I don't need, though I never actually did that...I regret that now. The point being that kind of enthusiasm is what people on infomercials need. At least he never punched a hooker...I'm just saying...so take a moment of silence for the death of the greatest salesman this world has ever or will ever know.

Next I would like to reiterate some of the things Stone mentioned in her last post. First, unless it's vitally important, do not leave a voicemail. It makes most people so irrationally angry they could kill a person...maybe that's just me, but regardless, I get it Dad. You want me to call you back. Second, bad drivers. I am not one, I'm just very aggressive. If someone cuts me off, I will do everything possible to spite that person and make them regret cutting me off. Just because I drive a neon doesn't mean I'm not a little insane. So watch yourself next time you want to cut off a car that doesn't look like they will accelerate fast enough for you. They may ride your ass, turn on their brights, flip you off, and lay on their horn for a mile until you turn. I only actually did that once, but still.

Last, if you mop the floors of a Denny's as a thirty year old woman who wears clothes that fit in high school (I promise they don't anymore, no matter what you think), you are not, in fact hot. Dancing around the restaurant talking to little kids, flirting with the waiters and just generally being loud and obnoxious, no one thinks you're cute. Mostly we're just pissed of. We just want our french toast. Another note about Denny's. Walking around it at eleven P.M. on a Tuesday with signs with your number on it does not make you cool. Again, it's just annoying. French toast is all I care about. Not your number.

You're welcome.

Rock